Life was blissful for one night... but back to the craziness that is my life as nurse.
I love you all as readers (friends and strangers alike) but a let me give you a glimpse of our stepdown census and then some practical advice on how to avoid being one of my patients...
Scald burn to the L hand-hot oil-bumped the frying pan at work
Flame burn to Right leg-flames-firefighter injured on the job
Scald burn to R leg- hot tea- fell asleep while drinking it
Scald burn to groin and bilateral thighs-hot coffee-dropped the coffe pot into lap
Contact burns to bilateral palms-radiator pipe-grabbed the pipe in anger when found out wife was having an affair
Scald burn to face-shower water-tested temperature of water with their face
Contact burn to left eye-curling iron- didnt want to disturb sleeping husband, getting ready for work in the dark (wouldn't want to see thank make-up job!)
Contact burn to the chest and flank-iron-noticed wrinkles on his shirt after he was dressed...ironed the shirt WHILE wearing it!
Scald burn to scrotum-hot water bottle exploded- I don't want to know why the said item was in the aforementioned place
Scald burn to anterior chest and thighs-hot water-patient drank too much wine while preparing dinner and had "butter fingers" when trying to drain the pasta
Flame burn to back of neck and shoulders-candle- (as per patients description,"I had a smelly poop so I lit I candle. I had to go again and when I sat down I caught my shirt on fire") Seriously, I could have lived without the first half of that scenario
Burns to bilateral cheeks and nose-flames-thought it was a good idea to smoke while wearing oxygen
Burns neck, right arm, right chest, stomach-flames-smoking in bed
There are a few more, but I think you get the picture. So like the title says, I'd like you remind you all a few things...
1. Smoking- bad habit, quit. However if this isn't possible, under NO circumstances should you smoke in bed, or while wearing oxygen
2. Drinking- is lovely, I do it myself. But it impairs your judgement and cearly your coordination...please:
a) prepare then indulge
b) don't drink hot beverages when sleep is imminent
c) watch wear you pour (and drop) the coffee pot
a) for the love of G*d, turn on a light, or use another bathroom
b) ever heard of the dry cleaner?
4. Working- okay, some hazards can't be avoided, I'll take care of an FDNY man any day! :)
5. Cooking-watch your oil level, don't try and multi task, make sure you have a clear path around your feet, see # 2a
4. Being Merry- don't involve hot water bottles
And there you have it. Nurse Miss Kelly's Tips for staying out of the Burn Unit.