Sunday, February 10, 2008

why no one should eat, drink, or be merry...

Life was blissful for one night... but back to the craziness that is my life as nurse.

I love you all as readers (friends and strangers alike) but a let me give you a glimpse of our stepdown census and then some practical advice on how to avoid being one of my patients...

Scald burn to the L hand-hot oil-bumped the frying pan at work

Flame burn to Right leg-flames-firefighter injured on the job

Scald burn to R leg- hot tea- fell asleep while drinking it

Scald burn to groin and bilateral thighs-hot coffee-dropped the coffe pot into lap

Contact burns to bilateral palms-radiator pipe-grabbed the pipe in anger when found out wife was having an affair

Scald burn to face-shower water-tested temperature of water with their face

Contact burn to left eye-curling iron- didnt want to disturb sleeping husband, getting ready for work in the dark (wouldn't want to see thank make-up job!)

Contact burn to the chest and flank-iron-noticed wrinkles on his shirt after he was dressed...ironed the shirt WHILE wearing it!

Scald burn to scrotum-hot water bottle exploded- I don't want to know why the said item was in the aforementioned place

Scald burn to anterior chest and thighs-hot water-patient drank too much wine while preparing dinner and had "butter fingers" when trying to drain the pasta

Flame burn to back of neck and shoulders-candle- (as per patients description,"I had a smelly poop so I lit I candle. I had to go again and when I sat down I caught my shirt on fire") Seriously, I could have lived without the first half of that scenario

Burns to bilateral cheeks and nose-flames-thought it was a good idea to smoke while wearing oxygen

Burns neck, right arm, right chest, stomach-flames-smoking in bed

There are a few more, but I think you get the picture. So like the title says, I'd like you remind you all a few things...

1. Smoking- bad habit, quit. However if this isn't possible, under NO circumstances should you smoke in bed, or while wearing oxygen

2. Drinking- is lovely, I do it myself. But it impairs your judgement and cearly your coordination...please:
a) prepare then indulge
b) don't drink hot beverages when sleep is imminent
c) watch wear you pour (and drop) the coffee pot

3. Grooming-
a) for the love of G*d, turn on a light, or use another bathroom
b) ever heard of the dry cleaner?

4. Working- okay, some hazards can't be avoided, I'll take care of an FDNY man any day! :)

5. Cooking-watch your oil level, don't try and multi task, make sure you have a clear path around your feet, see # 2a


4. Being Merry- don't involve hot water bottles

And there you have it. Nurse Miss Kelly's Tips for staying out of the Burn Unit.


1 comment:

wu said...

To be honest I'd prob do all of those things to have you nurse my sorry ass back to somewhat of a reasonable state.. but you have to admit the scars you get from being burned are always fun to tell people when they are like what is that huge scar on your arm?!?! oh it was nothing it was a lightbulb.