Yes, that is how I feel today. I just can't quite reach normalcy. Do you know those kinds of days? I feel like I'm just floating through the motions of life...in auto pilot.
Work has been fine, but tonight is my 4th night in a row and I think I'm hitting a wall...actaully, I know am
First of all, I don't really remember getting home from work Sunday morning; However, I do recall saying to L as I left the hospital, "I feel drunk. Like I'm just floating along. I'm in that happy place." (That 'happy place'...is really exhaustion.)
When I got home from work this (Sunday) morning, I showered, put on my pajamas, set my alarm for 2:15p.m., and crawled into bed. I think I was asleep in approximatly 0.2seconds because I don't even remeber closing my eyes. Next thing I know, I sit straight up in bed and look around my room frantically...searing for that pump, that vent, that monitor that is alarming. But I see nothing. I take a look down at what I'm wearing and my heart skips a beat... pink and green plaid flannel pants! wool socks! Fleece top!! Wear are my scrubs? I'm going to get written up by JACHO for not wearing my surgical cap and hospital issued scrubs!
I jump out of bed and look around...then I realize that I'm at home and not at work. But what is that sound? Ah-ha! I start banging my alarm clock but it won't stop beeping. I'm hitting every button but it just won't stop. Wait, it's only 1p.m. it can't be my alarm clock. Ah-ha! My cell phone, I pick up the gadget that is now vibrating across my bookshelf; I flip it open; I drop it; I disconnect the person. Whoops. I check the number, it's C. What do they want? I call them back. I think our converstaion went something like this..."Yes, I did work last night. Yes, I was sleeping. No, I'm not going to the gym quite yet. Yes, I think later would be a better time to chat. Bye." (Sorry C, I wasn't mad at you, just a bit disoriented. We'll chat real soon, I promise.)
I ended up sleeping until 2:15, went to the gym, showered, made some food to bring to work, grabbed some coffee, made my "commute" (oh that agony of walking 5 blocks!LOL).
The workout and coffee helped, but I'm still a little foggy. Oh well, c'est le vie.
Thanks for reading (typing and spelling and all)!