Friday, May 30, 2008

all in a year

I've been on days for a week and truly feel like a new person. I'm awake and ready to roll at 4:45am, even before my alarm goes off. I hop out of bed and can't wait to lace up my running shoes. I was warmly welcomed back to the gym by the 5am crowd. I forgot how much more I enjoyed my morning routine than my sleepless, energy depriving night one.

Work is great too. (Let's hope that I just didn't jinx myself). As nervous as I was to rotate back to days, as it's mostly senior staff, some of who can be a teensy bit intimidating to a youngin' like myself, I jumped right back into the grove. I forgot how nice it is: to be able tank the patients for burn care and dressing changes, to have more than one resident available, to have the coffee shop open, to walk to and from work with the crowds-not against them. to sleep when it's dark outside. I could go on, but won't tease myself as this "tour of days" is only a month. Although some other staff may not agree with me, I've really enjoyed this last group of residents (for the most part). I think have baby crush on one of them, but tomorrow is his last day, and plus I think he's too old for me (36...yes? no?). He's one of the few surgeons I've met with a phenomenal bedside manner. I've seen him deliver news of a patients death with eloquence and empathy, I've seen him gently stroke the shoulder of patient who was scared shitless of being admitted. I'm crossing my fingers that the next group is just as good.

Working days has also proved to me how far I've come. Last time that I worked days, I was on orientation...I was clueless, stressed out, and still working on time management. The thought of making a suggestion to a physician damn near killed me, but now I've gone on calls with resident to the ER to decide if we should admit a patient. I was scared to question an order, now I have no issue marching up to the residents (thought still not the attendings) in my patent leather clogs, cocking my head to the side, and saying, "Really? Are you sure?" I can better anticipate what I need and have a better 6th sense about when shit is going to hit the fan.

It's amazing how far I've come in a year! Now if I only knew what I wanted to do about my future.....


O said...

Congratulations to you! Hard to believe it's been a year. Temporary or not, enjoy your "month of days." What a nice respite.
36 is a little old for you but not by much, and not for long. (By which I mean, in a few years, the differential will be much less notable than it is currently.)
Happy weekend!

Anjali said...

Wow, that IS incredible. Congrats on a great first year. I couldn't agree with O more -- 36 is old just for now. Wait a minute, I'll turn 36 next year...So it can't be THAT old, right?