a ramble

This post is going to ramble, so please bear with me. Over the last few weeks I've had several great ideas for posts; however, by the time I get home from work, my brain is mush and I choose a hot shower and my bed over my blog.

Work has been crazy lately. As the final weeks of summer approach, so many of the surgeons go into overdrive and book a million OR cases so they can go away on vacation. Makes sense, right? Wrong! What it means is that the OR's are overbooked, the PACU cannot absorb all the patients, and the ICU's end up absorbing the patients as "boarders". This past month, we have been getting a ton of ENT/Plastic patients with flaps. In the last week alone we got three of them fresh out of the OR (anywhere from 9-14 hour long surgeries). Aside from the regular tasks of recovering a patient, these patients come back on the ventilator and have q15min pulse checks It's agony. Last weekend I was in charge, had an intubated 75% burn, had an uncontrolled diabetic on an insulin gtt, and had to take a flap patient. Assignments were so horrendous I could do nothing but go home and drink wine, lots and lots of winelaugh. Okay, I drank some wine too! Later that same week, things got ugly. We only had 11 nurses for 36 patients; given that four of them needed 1:1 care and each had at least a two hour burn care/dressing change each shift, plus a pediatric ICU patient who on the verge of being intubated, we weren't in a good place for accepting these boarder patients. We got our managers involved and they talked to their managers. We were told that we can't refuse to accept a patient due to staffing. Which is funny, because we weren't refusing, but we were stating that accepting these patients is a huge safety issue. Oh well, guess they'd rather risk a lawsuit than give us an extra nurse or let us hire more nurses. Right, because that makes much more sense....

Other notable work related things-
1. Commenting to a family member of a patient with 75% burns and a 104 degree fever that "She's burning up."
Poor choice of words, and I felt like an ass.

2. Celebrating Danielle's birthday on Long Island.
After a terribly long work day, we all ventured out to Long Island for a night of drinks and celebrating. Getting chauffeured by our DD in her huge new Pathfinder, Leslie went ass of teakettle into the 3rd row seat while wearing a dress. We danced to cheesy coverband music that we proudly sang along with, we had cupcake/frosting fight in the bar, and then took shots of Jaugermeister and SoCo and Tequila. But by far, my favorite part of the night was when we returned back to the city and Alison was walking down the street yelling, "MB (aka Dr. Matt)? MB? Where do you live?" Then she and Leslie accompanied me to Paulas's apartment so we could feed her cats while she is away on her honeymoon. I think we probably freaked the cats out...three drunks girls, winded from climbing the five flights of stairs, whispering "here kitty kitty." Wonder what the security cameras thought of us that night.

Non-work related things-
My friends got married this weekend in Westchester. Of course it was an adventure getting there. I accidentally grabbed the directions to the reception, NOT the hotel where I was staying so when we got to the Country Club and tried calling the hotel for directions, we got so lost. The girl who answered the phone was quite a airhead who was clearly directionally challenged. She told us to go south the the CC Expressway and then head east on 119. However, we really needed to go north of the CC Expressway and then head west. After 2 hours of driving around Scarsdale, we finally made it to the hotel just in time to change and take the party bus BACK to the country club. Thank God it was 6 hours of open bar because my nerves were shot. Did I mention that the party bus was too wide to make one of the turns so we took out a few tree branches and then still couldn't; make the turn so we almost missed the ceremony! The dancing and DJ was awesome. So much so that I ruined my bargain silk dress with sweat and wine. Let's hope the dry cleaner can take away all my sins!

must accessorize

About a nine months ago I was in this same predicament. I have to go to a wedding in less than a week and I still have no shoes, no accessories, and no time to go shopping. Last time I needed a pair of black, peep toe pumps and green jewelry. This time I need silvery/taupe shoes and pearl jewelry. It's never a problem finding a dress, but finding the coordinating accessories on a budget kills me. I always find a great deal on a dress, but then end up spending more money than I saved trying to accessorize my bargain dress. Time's running out and if I don't get my act together I'm gonna have to go to this wedding in a moo-moo and sneakers.

Where are all my posts? I wrote a bunch of short posts to autopublish over the last few weeks, but it looks as though they never published and now they are gone. Hmmm....guess I'll try and recap:

1. NO MORE NIGHT SHIFTS! I'm officially working full time days.

2. My Aruba vacation was amazing! It was so great to see my family after six months.

3. It's been 13 months since I fractured my pelvis and I'm finally back in action.

4. The Pink Panther sofa is GONE. The new furniture is beautiful and I am very satisfied.

As I get my life back in order, I'll write more. Please be patient. =)

Changes

Dear loyal readers few people who follow this blog-

Please excuse the lack of posts lately, life's been happening. Guess I'll catch you up on what's been going on.
1. Grad School
I'm going to Columbia! Classes start the end of August.

2. Work
I'm going to full time days starting June 21st! Two years of hell, holy hell nights will finally be over.
I'm going to stay working full time while I go to school. I'm banking all my vacation and holiday time to use September through December. It works out that I'll get paid for a full time work week, but only actually working part-time. The way I see it, my life won't suck any more than it has the past two years.

3. Vacations
I'm joining the family in Aruba for six days. Because I have no vacation time to use, I will be working the four days prior and three days after. Oh well, it will be worth it to get rid f this pasty white goodness otherwise known as my skin.

4. Dating
I'm still single. Dating still sucks in NYC. Please send any intellectual, tall, dark, and handsome men with a great sense of humor remotely good looking men my way.

5. Health
I'm still chronically exhausted but I found out that I'm quite anemic. My TIBC (total iron binding capacity) is very elevated compared to my actual iron level indicating that my body isn't properly utilizing/absorbing the iron. Now I'm taking iron pills. Hello constipation! Sorry if thats TMI. But it's all worth it, if it will boost my energy.
Regarding my fractured pelvis, I've had no further complications (knock on wood). I won't have another bone scan until next year, but I've finally gotten back to running just about year since my injury. After a five month wait, I saw the endocrinologist and found out that my vitamin D level is low. Now I'm taking additional vitamin D pills.
Yes, I've turned into the vitamin popping princess.

I'm sure that a lot more has transpired over the last month, but those are the highlights.
Thanks for checking in!!!

Dear Nurse Miss Kelly

If you aren't in the mood to read a rant, than I suggest you file this post under "to be read at a later date."

I work in healthcare. I'm going to graduate school for public health. I understand the healthcare crisis. I have money taken out of my paycheck every cycle to pay for my health insurance. I don't have complex medical issues. SO WHY CAN'T I GET A DOCTORS APPOINTMENT?!?!?!?!

Last year I found a GREAT internist/gynecologist. I also found a great dermatologist. After much angst I did find a dentist, but after my visit, I decided that I wouldn't be going back there ever again. In December, amongst holiday cards and holiday bills, I get a letter from the dermatologist:

Dear Nurse Miss Kelly,

It is with deep regret that we tell you that as of Jan. 1, 2009 Dr. N will no longer be with the practice. She has decided to relocate to Florida. Please call xxx-xxx-xxxx to book an appointment with the doctor who will be taking over her patient load.

Noted. Due for my annual checkup at the end of January, I called to book an appointment "with the doctor who will be taking over her patient load." What does the secretary tell me? Our conversation went something like this:

"Hi. This is Nurse Miss Kelly. I'm a patient of Dr. N's. I'm aware that she has left the practice, so I was hoping to book an appointment with whoever took over her patient load."

"Oh, well you see, you are going to have to wait. It's a four month wait to be seen as a new patient."

"But I'm not a new patient, I've been to the office before! I have records there. I just need to change doctors."

"Yes. But you are new to the replacement doctor and she will need to do a workup. What do you need an appointment for?"

"Just my annual skin check. I'm sorry, I'm confused. All patients of a doctor who left must now wait to be seen as new patients?"

"Correct. You can be seen in four months. How does April 29th sound?"

I concluded our call with, "Let me check my schedule and I'll call you back."


I was pissed. Not only did that not make any sense, but also this lady was clearly very misinformed. What did I do? First I looked to see the names of the other physicians in the practice to book an appointment with them. Then I called back, spoke with a muffled voice, what if the same wacko picked up, and booked an appointment with another doctor. Yes the wait was two months, but that was much more reasonable.

Crisis averted.

Not even two days later, I get another letter in the mail.

Dear Nurse Miss Kelly:

As of January 1, 2009, Dr. JW will be leaving WCIMA and joining a private practice. She will continue to admit her patients to xx hospital. Dr. PC will join WCIMA in February 2009 and will be responsible for your care. It is expected that she will participate in the same insurance plans that Dr. JW has participated in. Please contact us at xxx-xxx-xxxx to arrange to see our new physician.
If you wish to continue your care with Dr. JW here information is listed below..


Great, I'll call and book an appointment with her new practice. I mean, I never thought that she wouldn't take my insurance, after al it's expensive to be in private practice, so the more patients the merrier, right? WRONG.

Since I fractured my pelvis last summer, my lifestyle has been chaotic, at best. I broke up with a boyfriend, was studying for the GRE's, worked ALL the holidays, had a fight with my best friend, applied to grad school, etc. Through it all, I continue to work nights, sleeping less than four hours a night. My energy levels have bottomed out. It takes all my will power to get out of bed. I have no stamina and my workouts, once my sanity saver and favorite pastime, are awful and I hate the thought of the gym. My runs have dwindled down to nothing. I haven't run in over three weeks.

I've continued to eat my vegetarian, almost vegan diet and be very conscious of what and how much food I put in my body. So I was concerned that I started gaining weight and more and some more. I don't weigh myself, I go by how my clothes fit, but I'd estimate that I've gained 15 pounds since I graduated from college. And that freaks me the hell out!

Recently, I've began having some other symptoms:
-dry scalp and skin
-swelling of the hands and face
-gas and bloating
-thinning hair
-increased exhaustion

When I woke up the other morning and my hands were so swollen I couldn't get my rings off, and I also didn’t fit into any of my pants, I knew I had to go to the doctor. Something isn't right.


I pulled the letter out of my files and dialed the number of my old doctors new private practice. After explaining that I had been a former patient of Dr. JW's, I asked the secretary if she was taking my insurance plan.
"Um, No. I'm sorry. She's not accepting any managed care. But she will gladly see you for a physical. Would you like to come in today?"

"Hmm, well. How much is a physical? I would like to continue my care with her if possible."

"A physical would be $1000. And lab work is about $400."
I cough and scoop my jaw off the floor

"I think I'll pass. Thanks though."

No way in hell was I going to pay $1400 out-of-pocket when I have insurance! Guess I'll call the old office. After being hung up on twice, transferred twice, and then on hold for 15 minutes I finally managed to speak with someone. I told her that I needed to make an appointment with Dr. PC. And then, like something out of a sitcom, she tells me, "Well. Right now we don't have a doctor covering. Dr. PC's joining the practice has been delayed, twice. In the meantime you can be seen by a resident until we get an attending on staff."

A resident? A resident?!?! No way, lady. I get that this is a teaching hospital, and I'm all about higher learning, but this is serious. It's my health we are talking about and I want an attending!

Frustrated beyond belief, I agreed to see a resident at 2:30 that day; nevertheless, I did insist on the name of the resident's attending to have for reference.

Two hours and four vials of blood later, I walked out.

Hopefully they can figure out what's wrong with me.

Hopefully I can figure out what's wrong with our healthcare system.

Oops

I must admit, I enjoyed a glorious four days/nights off. I did laundry, polished china, cleaned out my closet, filed for financial aid for grad school, caught up on t.v. (oh how I <3 DVR!), and slept. However, yesterday was a blah weather day. Gray skies, cold and windy, with bouts of sleetish (sleetesque?) precipitation and I had a headache. I took a power nap before leaving for work, but my head was still a pounding.

I'm not one to take much medicine, so my "medicine" cabinet is mostly hairproducts, toothpaste, and only two bottles of pills-Tylenol and Tylenol PM. After my powernap, I rushed into the bathroom to grab something to kick my headache before what was sure to be a busy night at work.

I popped open the bottle, grabbed two pills and swallowed them with my water. As I was putting the bottle back in the cabinet I froze... "Tylenol PM". Uh, oh.
Not really sure what to do (I've never been very good at making myself throw up), I sighed, walked out of my apartment, and walked into the first coffee shop I passed on my way to work

6:45 pm......triple shot of espresso
I'm going to tell you all something now, a valuable lesson if you will, espresso does not negate the effects of Tylenol PM.

8:30pm.....cup of coffee from the overpriced starbucks in the hospital lobby

9:30pm.....2 cups of green tea

10:30pm....bottle of diet pepsi (uck, I haven't drank soda in over 2 years!)

11:30pm....diet red bull (man, that stuff is gross)

12:30pm....at this point in the night, my bladder is ready to explode, my heart is racing, and my eyes are so heavy that I need life preservers to keep them open!

With each hour that passed at work, my eyes got heavier and heavier. Thank God my patient was sick and VERY busy becuse if I had one moment to sit down, I would have been out cold.

I've worked the last six nights straight.
i had to stay 5 hours late on my last morning becuase a nurse didn't show.
two nights with sickest patient on the unit, four nights as charge nurse
bed census: full! (40 patients)
toal work hours = 82
total sleep hours =24
work to sleep ratio: > 3:1


my eyes are puffy
my ankles are swollen
i have no clean underwear
my refrigerator contents: ketchup, soy sauce, applesauce, soymilk, beer
number of unanswered emails: 35
number of times I've seen my roomate in the last week: 1
my neighbors upon seeing me in the elevator: "Ouh, rough night?"

what I want to do most? sleep
what am I going to do? sleep
why am I still typing this? who knows, goodnight!

ZzZZzzZZZzzzZZZZzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzzZZZzzzZZzzZz

2k9 MEME

I got this MEME from O, who got it from All & Sundry. It's my last day off for the next five, so I figured what the hell-let's waste some time on the computer.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
took the GRE's

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Is it a bad sign that I can't remember if I made one last year?

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
two of the nurses that I work with, two of the girls I went to highschool with, and Anjali

4. Did anyone close to you die?
yes, one of my coworkers. RIP Tara. Miss you.

5. What countries did you visit?
St. Martin, St. Barts

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Sleep and a social life; weird combination I know.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
December 19th- best Christmas party ever!
December 1st- I dischared the first pediatric trauma that I ever admitted
June 14th- I fractured my pelvis

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Staying healthy

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not staying in touch with my friends becuase of my crazy schedule

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Fractured Pelvis

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My blackberry

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Amy: new job as a VP= all grown up

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The parents of my patient who pressed their child's face against the radiator. It made my blood boil.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent, rent, rent. Did I say rent?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The prospect of getting a permenant day position (too bad it was only a prospect).

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
I don't know.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? neither, I'm content
b) thinner or fatter? fatter and it's really stressing me out
c) richer or poorer?Richer. That's what happens when all you do is work and have no time to play!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Stayed in touch with my friends, gone to church, slept (in no particular order)

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Stressing over the future

20. How did you spend Christmas?
At work. Hospitals never close.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Someone won my heart over, but then broke it.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
The Biggest Looser (a guilty pleasure, I know).

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

24. What was the best book you read?
Quantum Wellness

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Our tiny little bathroom has great acoustics for shower singining

26. What did you want and get?
a complement

27. What did you want and not get?
a permenant day position

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Rachel at the Wedding

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I worked, but at least Dr. MAtt was there *cue the dreamy music*! I turned 24.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Working days so I could see more of my friends and family, sleep more, and make dating easier

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Hospital issued 50/50 Cotton, Poly scrubs; gym clothes; a conglommerate of J.Crew, Gap, and Bloomingdales

32. What kept you sane?
Escapes to the suburbs to see the L's or my family, late night talks with Natasha or AMy, and Wednesday Night Dinner Club

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I can't decide if the numerous adoptions and procreations of Jolie-Pitts is admirable or insane

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The shit show otherwise known as our health care system

35. Who did you miss?
My family, my sorority sisters, Sarah, Memegrl and family, Shestartedit and family

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Cheryl. I'd be lost without her friendship

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Life is best lived with a little spontaneity.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Don't get all worried but if you remember this post, I'd say these lyrics just about sum it up:

What's wrong with me?
Why do I feel like this?
I'm going crazy now

No more gas, in the red, can't even get it started
Nothing heard, nothing said, can't even speak about it
On my life, on my head, don't wanna think about it
Feels like I'm going insane, yeah
-Rihanna, Disturbia

9 things About Me for 2009

1. I like green grapes but red wine
2. I can't fall asleep with dirty dishes in the sink
3. I can wiggle my ears
4. I don't play any musical instruments
5. I haven't eaten meat in 8 1/2 years
6. When applying to college I was torn between architecture and nursing
7. I floss after I brush
8. I prefer flats to heels
9. I'd rather go to bed at 10pm and be up at 5am, than go to bed at 1am and sleep till noon.

the final countdown

Christmas is in less than four days It's three days, fourteen hours, and two minutes to be exact, but who's counting, right?

Per usual, there has been no rest for the weary. I worked four days this past week and they were no less exciting than my previous post. Also, I made a mad dash from work on Thursday night to get across town to babysit. That was fun in rushhour, not! Thankfully the R's were home before midnight, so getting up at 4:44a.m. for the gym and work on Friday wasn't impossible. Friday night was our Christmas party. Now it's a well known fact that us nurses love to party and have a good time...sometimes just a wee bit too much. That's what happens your life is more work than play -the play is way overdone.

Our party was nothing fancy, nor was it free. It was at a local bar that many of us go to frequently. For $30 we had 4 hours of open bar from 8-12. I was determined to get there early this year because last year I missed most of the party while waiting for N to dilly dally getting ready. Too bad my plan wasn't quite in line with the hospital gods. I had to work Friday day but I figured I'd be out by 7:50ish. Or not!?!?. Brief recap of what happened between 4:30 p.m. and 8:45 p.m. when I finally left work.

-Four patients came back from the OR
-One patient got discharged
-Two patients arrived from outside hospitals as transfers that were so not necessary
-A patient needed to be transferred to the pediatric floor but had no family at the bedside to travel with them
-A patient was extremely hypotensive and had a critically low Hemoglobin and Hematocrit (5.5, 15.5!!!). Said patient needed to be transferred from a stepdown room into an ICU room and get two units of blood rapidly transfused. But first needed to have a type and screen sent because the initial one expired. The type and screen was sent but one line of the sheet wasn't signed so the lab rejected and threw out the sample and another one had to be sent (have you ever tried to get blood from an exceptionally hypovolumic person?) I'm still in shock that I go an IV into their arm. Additionally the cardiac monitor was not working in the patients room so they had to be on a portable monitor.
And the most exciting, although rather traumatic...
-A patient blew their anatomises and ruptured their carotid artery. You know those scenes on TV where blood is squirting out everywhere? Real life is way more intense! After that patient got rushed to the OR, and I settled the patient with the low H&H into the room, and I transferred the patient to the pediatric floor, and I did the admission history and assessment on one of my new admissions, and gave report to the night staff on my other patients, I rushed home, took a 49 second shower, put on my new party dress, straightened my hair, and hopped in a cab to my party. I arrived at 9:20 p.m. Now that people is a speedy party prep!

I was barely in the door and someone put a drink in my hand, followed by another and another and another. I'm a two drink drunk on a good day, so four drinks on an empty stomach meant the super chatty, quick witted,flirty, confident Kelly was out in full force. I don't know where the night went. Before I knew it, the party was coming to a close and it was close to 2am. As I left, I think I hugged and kissed on the cheek every firefighter that was there, plus all my coworkers-even the ones who I only sorta like, haha. Two, very nice, older, as in could be my father old, firefighters walked me out and got me a cab home. My party dress was barely off (that sounds so dirty) and I passed out. I didn't wake up until 10:30 Saturday morning and, to be quite honest, I wished I had just kept sleeping. My head was pounding, my throat was killing me, and my eyes were crusty with Friday night's makeup.

I managed to rally after a multivitamin and two cups of tea. And by rally I mean go to the gym for a jog, shower, and attempt to Christmas shop;however, he latter was a huge failure because with every store I walked into and saw a line, I turned on my heels and walked out. Which brings us to the present.. T-minus three days, fourteen hours, and two minutes until Christmas.

What do I have to do before then?
1. Buy gifts for: my cousin, one of our fellows, my roommate, my dad, my mom, my trainer, my grandfather, my cleaning lady, my water delivery man.

2. Mail the already stamped and addressed holiday cards (hey, the post office is 2 blocks away)

3. Bake Christmas cookies

4. Wrap the few gifts that I have purchased

5. Do laundry so I have clothes to bring home

6. Find a Christmas Eve mass AFTER I get out of work, but BEFORE midnight

7. Get in touch with the L's so I can finally give them their Christmas AND Birthday
presents

8. Book a train ticket home for the day after Christmas

9. Work Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday


Wow, I've got a lot to do and not much time. On that note, I'm out. Wishing you all a happy, healthy holiday and new year!

Just Putting It Out There

I FINALLY had a night off last night, meaning that I got to sleep in this morning. For all those of you lucky enough to work days, you have no idea how exhausting working night can be! Nevertheless, I went to bed at 9:30 last night and slept until 9:30 this morning. A whole 12 hours! WOW! That's 3 1/2 times MORE sleep than I usually get...kinda sad, right?

But I digress. I made some coffee and settled onto the couch under my big fluffy blanket to watch some morning television. After an uneventful LIVEwithREGISandKELLY came the RACHAELray show. Yeah, she can be hoakey, and a little quirky, but she is harmless. She's best known for her 30minuteMeals, but the cooking segments on her talk show are usually pretty okay. Maybe it's just me and my semi health conscious perspective, but today's meal was just wrong. Her inspiration dish was the Cobb Salad (aka lettuce + blue cheese, bacon, chicken, avocado, creamy high fat salad dressingcalories galore. What did she do to it? She turned it into Cobb Pasta. So let me get this right, she replaced the one low calorie item (lettuce) with a much higher calorie item (pasta). I guess she was trying to "winterize" the dish by making it a hot one, but still it's over the top. Props to her on the creativity, but with the holidays coming and most people wanting to look sleek in that little black dress (or pants suit) we really don't need this calorie overload. Furthermore, I'm not sure if I even like the idea behind this pasta concept. A signature of the Cobb Salad is the conglomerate of textures-crunchy, creamy, and moist. Why wreck a good thing?!?

Maybe you disagree. Maybe you are salivating over her dish. But I'm just sayin' Ms. Ray, I think you have outdone yourself this time.

Things 1 through 13

A letter to my patients:

To all of you who managed to burn yourself, be it by tragedy or plain self stupidity, I'm giving your fair warning Nurse Kelly may not be her usual cheery self this weekend. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and I'm usually pretty OK with getting shafted and working the shitiest hours weekends, but this weekend is the one weekend that I wanted off. Not only are all of my sorority sisters venturing back to Philly for a ChiO reunion, it's Penn's homecoming football game, but also by some miracle of God, the Phillies won the world series this week and there is a huge victory parade tomorrow. It's torture that I'm stuck here in New York with all that fun stuff going on. Here's a quick run down of what I'm going to be missing, in chronological order, except for maybe a few additional stops at Allegros for 40's..

1. Phillies Victory Parade

2.ChiOmega reunion

3. Happy Hour at Mad4Mex



4. Halloween Party @ Bone's apartment

5. Drunken Spectacle at the Blarney Stone

6. 7 am Mimosas at SMOKES

7. CHiO Homecoming brunch

8. Keg stands, 40's, and bottles of Andre in "the lot" @ 4047 Spruce



9. Stumbling to Franklin Field to throw toast on the field at PENN's homecoming football game



10. Power nap before going out again with the girls

11. Allegros and/or Greek Lady at 2am

12. Waking up wondering why my feet are black then remembering that I spent most of the night singing, dancing, and playing
beirut and flip in the Pike basement

13. Eating brunch at Izzy and Zoes

Sigh....I guess there is always next year.

Well Worth It

Flight to Seattle: $379
Taxi cabs to and from the airports: $195
Perfect little green dress: $186
Last minute shoe and jewelry purchases: $110
Toiletries becuase the damn airport security people said your were over the size limit: $35
Bottle of water purchased AFTER the security check point: $4.25
Batteries for the digital camera: $14
Wedding Present: $150
Total Cost of less than 48 hours in Seattle: $1073.25

Dancing the night away and celebrating with your soroity sisters at Shelby's wedding: PRICELESS!!!

*What are my chances of M@asterCard using this for their next commerical and me earning some of my money back????

Oh Where, Oh Where, Has Nurse Kelly Gone....

Oh where, oh where, can she be?
With her job all consuming,
And social life null...
Oh where, oh where, can she be?

Sorry for my lack of posts as of late, but I've been out straight. After returning to NYC from a lovely few days with my family, I jumped right back into the grind...work, workout, sleep, swim, work, workout, sleep, swim, work, work, work, work.... (no seriosly).

When I arrive home from work Wednesday morning, I will have been at the hospital 10 of the last 13 nights. Anyone want to trade social lives? I'm looking forward to my four nights off. Hopefully I'll rejoin civilization and have something of substance to write about. But until then, I'm off to sling bed pans, answer call bells, listen to the staff bitch and moan, debride wounds, give meds, draw and send labs save lives.

I'm the Lucky One

I don't say it enough, so I'll say it now... I'm the lucky one. In this fast paced world that we live in, it's easy to loose yourself in the chaos, wallow in self pity, and take for granted all the little things.

After last week's bomb, my friends were truly amazing. They didn't have to say anything, they were just there. We went out, laughed, giggled, shared some great drinks (and stories). It brought me back to the college years when friends were all that mattered. Not that my friends aren't my world now, but we all have our own lives and our lives are more like Venn Diagrams than interlocking puzzle pieces.

I also just returned from a great 36 hour trip to Philadelphia. I left early Sunday morning and spent the afternoon with K, C, and L. Hard to be live that I hadn't seen C since graduation! Our conversation was bountiful and hilarious, like always. It was so incredible to see how much we've each come into our own in just 16 months. K in in the midst of her thesis for a double masters; C has moved to "Chi Town" and is loving mid western living; L is amazing us with her intellectual work as an author for a biotech company; and I'm thriving in the Big Apple saving lives one hospital bed at a time (well, almost).

A bonus to my Philly trip was spending Sunday night and Monday with the L's! No matter where I go, or what I do, they are forever a part of my life. R and J are getting SO big; however, it's not only their size that's growing but also their independent spirits and zest for fun. I can't tell you how much it warmed my heart to see R bolt down the stairs after his nap, and run through the living room yelling, "Hi Nurse Miss Kelly. I'm so happy to seeee you!" Spending time with O and T was also amazing. O is more than a "sister" she's a mentor and true friend. And T, he's always got an ear to listen and has great perspective on the challenges of my job.

*R &J: I know that you are too young to read this but you boys mean so much too me. It's been an extreme joy to watch you grow. J, you are now older than R was when I first met your family. Time flies! My "real job" can be stressful and upsetting, but You boys keep me grounded and remind me that it's okay to giggle uncontrollably for no reason, sing along to the music~even if I'm off tune, run around with underwear on my head, and climb on the playground.

So to everyone who's ever supported me, thank you, thank you, thank you! You are all amazing and I truly am the lucky and blessed.

Bye Bye Bullet

I've written many times about my mom's minivan. But just in case you have missed out, here are the highlights....

It's a 1999 (I was in the 8th grade when we got this baby!)
It's silver and always dirty.
Over the years it's acquired many dings and scratches. My mom loved to "bump" the car's hood against the wall of the garage, and let's just say that when learning to drive, I wasn't the best at avoiding the brush and shrubbery that lines our super long driveway!)

A little summary of where the "Silver bullet" has been:
Back and fourth to Virginia 4x;
Back and fourth to D.C. at least 2x;
To and from Philly well over 10x;
Plus back and fourth to NY at least 5 or 6x!
And those are only the longer trips. My mom hauled us kids all over the state, New England, and of course around town.

The car has had it's fair share of issues...
There was the leak that flooded the drivers side floor,
the broken drivers side electric window,
the broken ash tray/cup holder from an over excited dog slamming his paws onto it,
the short circuited dash board,
the radio that wouldn't seek the channels,
the CD player that would over heat after 2 songs,
the broken rear electric widows (hello cold draft in the winter!), the broken windshield wipers in the hurricane and their consequential backwards installation causing them to stall in the up, not down position,
the tail lights that all blinked when you stepped on the brake,
and the spastic spare tire that always rattled a little tune under neath the car.

Was I embarrassed by this car? You betcha! But then again, I proudly rocked the minivan my sophomore year, before I got my own car. Do you know what I concluded that spring/summer? Cops don't pull over soccer mom's driving minivans!

We always gave my mom shit and called her car the 'traveling trash can', but she really didn't deserve that. After all, my dad wouldn't be caught dead carting around the dog, the soccer team, groceries, gardening items, etc in the back of his new SUV. So the bullet picked up the slack.

My mom had said that she would drive that baby into the ground. I always assumed that my mom and dad would be driving that car when they drop my sister off at college in the fall of 2010;however,I guess I was wrong.

Today I got that phone call.... that my parents are breaking down and laying the bullet to rest. My mother's tone, made me worry at first that something was (seriously) wrong, but I should have known.
So what happened to spur this whole new car idea? That leak that caused the short circuit is back and the cost to fix it is the same as the car's value (pending nothing else shits the bed). Plus now the airbags had to be turned off and your can't use the air conditioner. (You all know, or do now, that my mom is getting to that lovelyt age of menopause. For her, A car without AC is like a sundae without a cherry!)

I'm still sort of in shock, after all htat car has been a part of my life for the past 10 years!

They're nor sure what they're going to buy, probably something fuel efficient and not at all luxurious, but no matter what they choose, it will never have the character, or the memories of the Silver Bullet.

RIP pal, It's been real.

Metamorphosis

While working out in the gym today, I overheard a conversation that got me thinking. The conversation was about keeping a diary. Did/do you keep a diary? Growing up, I had a diary (yes one of those girlie ones with a "lock and key" that could easily be picked with a bobby pin). I wrote about lots of things, but I'm pretty sure most of it related to things about my friends, boys that I liked, things I maybe regretted doing, and/or things that I wanted to do. The preteen years were perfect for a dairy, a place to write about stuff and then guard it under lock and key.

As I got older, it sort of fell by the wayside, but I started scrap booking. My teenage years were captured on film and then later digital memory cards, but either way I had pictures to look back upon and recollect what was going on in my life. My teenage years were marked by milestones and things perfect for images (dances, proms, beach trips, vacations, cars/driving, parties, college visits, etc.) When it comes to socializing in the teenage years, a picture (for better or worse) really does say a thousand words.

When I arrived at college, I entered a whole new world. It was a time of firsts and milestones (much like my teen years) but similar to my preteen years, I was full of hopes and dreams and crushes on boys. (Oh how much I loved when the crew team ate in my building's dining hall and when the frat boys sat on their leathers couches along locust walk). Before I left for school, I bought a journal to write about my college years; however, I was so busy with school work socializing that I didn't have much time to write about anything [fun] (espescailly with my writing seminar from hell!) I took lots of pictures and they were plastered on Websh0ts and Faceb00k. Even more than being a way to capture memories they were a way to fill in the blackouts nights that lasted into the dawn.

As I began my senior year of college, this blog was born. I started feeling nostalgic and wanted to keep track of my thoughts and of things that couldn't be captured on film (mainly work and clinical experiences...HIPPA anyone?). However, I didn't dig that dusty journal out of storage, I chose to start blogging. I spent so much time on the computer, anyways, it just seemed like a practical idea...plus I was enamored with the idea of an audience. Like I've blogged about before, the content I blog about is varied, but I like it that way. I can talk about my hobbies, my personal life, my job, my friends, etc...the possibilities are endless.

I have but a few regrets with my choices over the years..
*I wish that I had more pictures from my preteen years because like Dan was just sooooo dreamy in the 6th grade
*I wish I had taken the time to write about some personal things in my late teens and early twenties because let's face it, some thigs weren't meant for public viewing and certainly weren't appropriate to be captured on film (the closet incident, the whip cream fiasco, the first time I had sex, the infamous taxi cab ride, etc). Okay, now that I've given you all TMI...
*I wish that I wasn't leery of sending this link to all of my friends. As much as I love them, there is a part of me who wants to keep this mine, or maybe I'm afraid of what they'd say.

But in the end, when I'm old and gray and my memory isn't what it is now, I'll have something to look back upon and remember who I was, what I did, and all that I aspire to do.

What about you? what made you start blogging? did it stem from a lifelong passion for writing or was it something that just seemed like a good idea at the time and now you're hooked?

When I Grow Up...

I wanted to be:

A Hairdresser- I'd spent hours doing my friends hair, but wouldn't let a brush/comb touch my curly sue long banana curls. Then I discovered scissors and suddenly my barbies suddenly looked like her . So blame me, I started the trend.
original photo credit: www.chitchatchica.com


A Teacher- My mom used to find me sitting on the toilet, with the shampoo bottles lined up along the tub edge, speaking to them...uttering some sort of academic verbage. Thankfully, I moved on from shampoo bottles to dolls and my friends. I thought it was SO COOL when my dad brought home a giant, school size, chalk board from his office conference room that was being renovated. I was the only kid on the block with a class room necesity mounted on their playroom wall!


A Cashier- I thought cash registers were so cool. After years of cutting up paper (and killing lots of trees to make fake money and receipts), my parents bought me a REAL cash register like one that made receipts and beeped and chimed. Unfortunately, it didn't come with real money, but a girl can dream, right?


An Archaeologist- Digging up the greatest lost treasures of the world.
Unearthing dinosaur bones. Finding the treasure map that would lead to the hidden chest of gold. Getting the glorious tan outside under the dessert sun. Oh wait! WHAT?!?! I might see a snake? Er, no thanks. I guess I'll stick to the history channel.


A Doctor- trauma surgeon, actually. The rush of adrenaline as the gurney wheels in through the ER door. The rapid "lub-dub" of my heart beating as my beeper goes off...what sort of fun next? The satisfaction of closing up a chest after stopping the gushers from a gunshot wound. Comforting and consoling a family when they fall upon hard times. Wearing scrubs to work every day (so budget friendly)!

An Architect- I must have drafted 20 versions of my dream house. I had grand plans for renovations and additions to my parents house. I'd go on walks through new neighborhoods and browse the real esate section to look at floor plans. I filled 2 sketch books with various homes and designs. One Christmas my parents bought me home design software for the computer. It was my favorite gift that year. we no longer have the computer but under my bed at home is a box filled all my designs and the paint chips of varied color palates and the cut outs of furniture and hardware to outfit my designs.

It's funny how I never dreamt of being a nurse, yet managed to spend $200,000 on an education to become one. At the begging on my junior year in high school, I started to heavily contemplate my future. what did I want to do? What exited me? Where did I see myself? Heavy stuff for a 17 year old. I don't remember when I first considered nursing. But I do know that I got mixed reviews about my choice to attend nursing school.

My guidance counselor, a fabulous mentor, was disappointed. He thought I was settling, "Why not medical school?"

My chemistry teacher, a woman who still inspires me to this day, thought it was great. "Kelly, you are so detail oriented and organized, not to mention your compassion and friendliness, you'll be a wonderful nurse."

My English teacher, the warm and fuzzy grandmother like figure, was thrilled. "Oh good choice Kelly. We know how much you hate grammar and full sentences." (I'll never forget the look on her face. Love you Mrs. B!!)

My friends, people who had seen me at my best and worst, weren't that supportive. "You want to wipe asses all day? Ew, gross."

My aunt and uncle, always jealous over my academic achievements, thought it was just great. Their girls would clearly end up with a better paying job some day.

My best friend S, someone who always called it like she saw it, embraced the idea whole heatedly. She was going to school for OT and we knew that we'd be able to commiserate though biology, chemistry, anatomy and physiology together. She is one of the reasons I made it through.

My parents, my rocks though thick and thin, wanted me to do whatever was going to make me happy. They went to every open house, drove all around the east coast looking at schools, listened to me bitch and moan in fits of indecisiveness, wrote out all those application checks, and didn't think twice about re-mortgaging our house to send me to my top choice school. Without their support I never would have made it though college or even the application process, but when they walked me walk across that stage and receive my diploma they knew all their patience and prayers had paid off. Plus now they had a diploma receipt for their $200,000, even if it was written in Latin and no one knew what the hell it said.

As I approach the one year anniversary at my job and look back, I don't really have any regrets. Being a nurse may not have been what I originally saw myself doing... it's certainly not glamorous, I'm not in it for the money, the hours can be crappy, I deal with a lof of crap (literally)...but at the end of the day I'm learning a lot, meeting great people, making decent money, wearing scrubs to work (take that dry cleaning bills!), and proving to myself that some of life's best adventures aren't the ones you originally saw yourself completing.

Friends in Unexpected Places

It may or may not come as a surprise to you loyal readers that one of the first things I did when I moved to New York, actually even before I moved to New York, was join the gym. An exercise/endorphin junkie, I was thrilled that my apartment was on the same block as my apartment...I swear I didn't plan it!

I've never been one to think of gym time as socializing time. I go to sweat, clear my head, stay healthy, and (okay, I admit it) scout out cute boys hunky men. However, due to the nature of my job, I'm always there during "old people hours". 5am or 2pm...all those Wall Streeters, construction workers, and men in uniform are there at night, too bad! In any case, I'm used to seeing the same crowd. You get to know them, wave a little hello, flash a little smile. Oh, and if I ever mention to an older man or woman that I'm a nurse, I'm either immediately asked a health question, or told some story about "when they were in the hospital." I'm flattered that they are comfortable opening up to a complete stranger, or maybe I'm weirded out. haha.

Because it seemed like a great way to spend thousands of dollars a year get stronger, I hired a personal trainer. We'll call him "G.I. Greg." Greg's sarcastic attitude and humor made my grueling training sessions enjoyable and he helped knock some sense into me..."What are you doing? Is that how we train? Come on, get it together." I started giving him the finger when eh gave me too much shit. He retaliated and every time I raised that middle digits...30 squat jumps. that little finger hasn't waved in the air since December 2007.

We had been training for abbot a month when he showed up to a session with a huge cut from playing football. I gently offered my "professional advice" and he replied, "Why thank you, Nurse Kelly"...and the nick name stuck. G.I. Greg introduced me to Cheryl and we immediately hit it off. She worked in member services and I'd always pop in and say hello or she'd swing through the training area just to say hi.

As the weeks passed, I got to know most all of the other trainers. Or should I say, they all got to know me. I'd be minding my own business,getting all buff, and they'd wave across the gym and say, "Hey Nurse Kelly." Really? This is too funny. Nick names catch on quickly. I'd always share stories from work (the good, the bad, and the ugly) with G.I. Greg while training and naturally, others would hear them and ask questions. It became standing interaction, for them to ask, "Save any lives today Nurse Kelly?" Other gym members would always turn around, puzzled, and then sort of eaves drop.

In January I decided that I was going to channel my running passion and run a marathon. I began to log more and more miles each week; I was loving it. GI Greg was helping me build my core strength but he kept warning me that I was running too much, or running to fast, and not getting enough rest. I wanted to listen to him, but I couldn't. Running was like a drug, and I as hooked. I wold hop out of bed to lace up my shoes and hit the road, or even treadmill belt! G I Greg wold run with me in the park and he introduced me to other running partners

In April I got the bad news, GI Greg was going to be leaving in July for some classified federal training (yes, he has one of those cool protection jobs). We continued to rain, I trekked on. I started hanging out with Cheryl more and more. Her schedule was less hectic in the summer, as she doesn't work for the dance company. We made it a plan to do dinner on Wednesday nights. The first night was the week GI Greg left. Wait, forgot to mention, once Cheryl and GI greg are dating (it all makes sense now!)

The next week, Cheryl introduced me to her friend Gay Craig (LOVE THIS BOY!). Well had an excellent time at dinner that night, sharing stories, being silly, sharing our love of great food and wine. That night we saw Aline, another one of GI Greg's former clients, and she joined us for a drink. Before we knew it, 4 hours had passed and we were drunk and full done. Cheryl, much like GI Greg calls me Nurse Kelly. However, Craig, after a few glasses of wine decided that he was going to call me Nurse Betty (ya know, from the book and movie?). Aline, on the other hand, insisted on calling me Nurse Kelly.

Craig decided the following week that he wanted to cook on Wednesday night in lieu of going out. We waked over to Cheryl's apartment. We called Aline and she arrived bottle of wine in hand. Without even thinking, we also called Ken-a trainer and friends of GI Greg's, and came over with his wife and their adopale dog phoebe. *Simply a bonus that we all live within 4 blocks of each other* And there you have. The first official meeting of Wednesday Night Dinner Club. Our dynamics are hilarious:
Cheryl- 30 something, dancer/choreographer who works in sales at the gym
Craig- a late 20 something, who proudly makes fun of his Jewish family, works as a stylist by trade and socializes sells memberships at the gym
Aline- late 40 something with a zest and vigor for life who is absolutely crazy with an amazing husband who tolerates her hanging out with us on Wednesday nights while he plays poker
Ken- 30 something trainer and fitness guru who looks like he stepped of the beaches of Malibu, but is actually a native Long Islander
Lori- Ken's wife, who works in real esates and dablbles in calligraphy, and who sort of crashes WNDC...
Phoebe- Ken and Lori's puppy who is 100% cute, 100% wild, with so many allergies that she sneezes non-stop, and the perfect accent to WNDC.
and me- 20 something year old gym rat , somewhat recent college grad, who loves her job as a nurse and saving lives one hospital bed a time

I never would have thought that such a random group of people could have so much fun! But we do and it only goes to show that you really can find friends in unexpected places.

criteria for the "+1"

Did you ever have a conversation that by the end left you thinking, "What? How did we up on this topic?" Last night was one of those nights. I went out last night with G, our friend-his fraternity brother J, and their other frat brother M, who just got engaged to E. last week; They've been dating for seven years. Earlier in the day, they had all been at the Y@nkees game and were too tired and sweaty to go out to a fancy dinner, so we settled on a local bar for beers and appetizers. Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was that I hadn't eaten all day but my beer was do delicious, I finished it before the boys. But that's not the point.

Back to my story.

Okay, so M &E are getting married. By some serendipitous fluke, both of their parents have the same wedding anniversary, so that date in September is the obvious choice. However, they are looking at 2009, so they've got a good 14 months. Before we left for the bar, I thoroughly enjoyed sitting by and watching G & J giggle and smile with excitement as they talked about the bachelor party wedding. And then we got onto the topic of dates, ya know the special "+1" that comes on the invites.

The group was giving J a lot of shit and jokingly told him that he has 14 months to find the +1. We suggested that he begin his hunt "tonight." And with that he looked down at his shorts and said. "Does this mean I shouldn't 'mesh it' to the bar". Simultaneously we all said, "Yeah. You might want to change out of the mesh gym shorts." J goes into his room and comes out, trying to put on a belt; however, we notice that he's missing a button on the shorts. He told us, "Well the other day I ate some chicken wings, sat down, and POP...off it came." He then patted his belly in a oh so maternal kind of way and turned to reach for another pair of shorts in his closet. But what do you know! 2 more pairs, without buttons. So either J needs to go on a diet, or find a girl who sews. Speaking of finding a girl, once we were at the bar, and all had a few drinks in us, we asked J to make a list of deal breakers when it comes to a girl. Brace yourself, here we go:
1. non-smoker
2. Piercing: only ears and belly button
3. Tattoos: preferably not, but a tasteful, discretely placed would be okay
4. Must love meat
5. Must be willing to "rub his belly" (apparently its okay if this doesn't occur on date #1)
6. Not skinny, he likes a little "something to grab"
7. Jewish, ideally, although he did say he'd take a normal non Jew, to an ugly Jew
8. Must have 2 boobs, uniboob won't do. Really? haha
9. brunette, then blonde. Guess, there are too many red headed Jews?
10. Likes Loves Beer
11. Can cook
12. Likes to spoon AND have sex
13. in relationship to #13, he's willing to wait a while
14. Would want to go to a Mets/Yankees game with him, but if he got tickets to a Sox/Yankees game she'd tell him to go with friends
15.Willing to hang with the guys

and there you have it. J's criteria for his "+1". So if you know any female ages 20-24, that fit the above criteria, and are free in September 2009...be sure they inquire. haha