Thursday, November 08, 2007

When Coutning Sheep Fails

my dear, loyal readers (um, all 4 of you) let me tell you something. I have lost any/all sense as to what time of day it is. (Yes, I also know that one should never end a sentence with 'is', but this is my blog and I just feel being grammatically incorrect). Eek,s I'm a little grouchy and here's why...I am currently doing my stint working nights. August-October I was having a lovely time working days. They were long, but I had some semblance of a life. However, for the next month I am working nights. Normally I am a great sleeper. I can sleep anytime, anyplace, and I function marvelously on 4-5 hours (sick, I know).

Let's just say, Wednesday was ugly. I worked Tuesday night (7:30p-8am Wednesday). Try as I might, I could not sleep Tuesday afternoon in prep for my all nighter. However, the night flew by without any hitches. The night shift is a different atmosphere. Yes, the pumps still ding, call bells still ring, and vital signs and neuro checks are done on the hour, but it's quieter. The night shift is missing the brigade of residents moaning and groaning about how much their life sucks, it's missing the "Well when's..." from the families, but it's also missing the life and vitality of the nursing staff. Everyone just sort of goes about and does their thing. I guess they chat, but I feel lonely working nights. Maybe I just need to warm up to the staff, but I miss the day staff...the support of my friends, the hilariousness of B and R's tales, and even listening to the residents get grilled during rounds by the attending. (not going to lie, it's a little bit of an ego boost when I get to speak up and clue THEM in...makes them realize that I'm not some dumb sh*t who became a nurse because I couldn't handle medical school). *fyi- for the most part, the residents are great, but there have been a few who enjoy putting everyone down and acting as demeaning as possible*

But I digress.

Back to why I am confused. So I got home at 8:30 am on Wednesday. I skipped the coffee, hopped into the shower, and tried to sleep. I turned off all the lights, closed my room darkening curtains (that my mom so fabulously made, thanks!!!), turned on the fan for white noise, and tried to sleep. I tossed; I turned; I hopped out of bed and turned away the birthday card with the silly monkey face because I was convinced that it was looking at me; I tossed; I turned; I put a sheet over my clock so I would not stare at the time... I could not get to sleep.

At 11:30 I got out of bed, threw on my gym clothes and went for a workout. Well let me tell you, I have never felt so rubber legged in my entire life. Thank God you don;t need a license to ride the stationary bike, because I would have been pulled over for reckless riding. I was shocked that after my workout I didn;t feel better; I felt worse. Now I was even more tired (going on 30 hours with no sleep), but my body was energized from the cardie. I showered up and didn't go right home. Instead I called my sister, called some friends, wandered around the upper east side, started to cross the street at a red light and stood there once it turned green...I think you get the picture.

I made it back to the apartment and called L & N. N was great and listened to me whine and biatch about how I couldn't sleep. Actually, she sympathized because she is adjusting to this whole day/night flip-flopping as well. L, N. & I decided that we would go to the movies @ 7pm. I picked American Gangster. In the few hours that I had to wait before the movie I smelled more peppermint, soaked my feet, and put cucumber slices on my eyelids (it felt so glamorous, ha!!).

I'm not really sure why I picked American Gangster, I guess I thought it was something else, but it turned out okay. It was LONG...3 hours...and by the time it was over I had been awake for 40 hours and needed my sleep. N told me, "Kel, when we got to the movies you looked a little tired. But when it was over, you looked bad, like real bad."
Brace yourselves... I took a cab home!
I get in the cab and he asks, "Where to?"
To which I replied, "Home."
"What? But where is home?" the cabbie muttered
"uh, um, 76th and um, um"..."76th and first"
"You okay miss? You sure that's where you want to go"
*Great of all the nights to get a cab driver who speaks English it has to be the night I'm a royal mess.*Upon approaching 76th and 1st the cabbie says, "What side of the street?"
"On the left miss?"
"Miss...left? or right?"
"Uhh, right. Yes right, sorry"
*Wow, I look like a dumb a$$*

So I get out, on the right-the correct-side. I make it into the apartment, throw in my pajamas, and hit the sack. My intention was to set my alarm for 4am, get up, go to the gym at 9, then come and sleep again until 3. Change of plans! When my alarm went off at 4, I jumped out of bed, pounded the clock, and went back to sleep until 9. I trained with my trainer at the gym, whose only comment was "ohhh, this is ugly", and then came home and went back to bed for a few hours.

I wish I could say that I felt refreshed and perky when I woke up, but I'm satisfied that I felt human again.

I hope that I can learn to switch over my clock, quite frankly, I hate not knowing if I should be awake or asleep, if I should be eating cereal or salad, or what the heck the date is becuase technically I've been to work twice in one day.

If any of you night owls have any suggestions, I'd greatly appreciate them because I just don't think the the world ready for sleepless Kelly.

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