I am a nursing student; I feel comfortable using the words penis, vagina, sex, sexually transmitted diseases, urine, feces, shit, poop, pee, breast, boob; I am not flustered by projectile vomiting or other bodily functions, bed pans don't scare me, and bugars..well, It think they are best in a tissue, but hey, it's all good.
Why is it that I can feel so comfortable in these situations, but still be so awkward in others. Take for example my encounter with the man at Bucks County Coffee...
I have always prided myself on being honest, so yesterday morning at the coffee shop when I thought I got back a $1 extra in change, I said, "um..I think you gave me a dollar extra."
The man looked confused, looked back at his screen and said to the other guy, "Did I do something wrong? She should have $3.02 in change?!?"
They agreed, that I was wrong, so I joked, "can you tell it's finals time? Clearly, I haven't been sleeping enough."
TO which the guy replied, "well good thing for the coffee."
But I said, "oh, I didn't get coffee, I got a raisin bran muffin......"
He looked around, squinched his face and said, "well I think I heard that bran makes you concentrate!"
But the other guy behind the counter said, "no retard, bran makes you poop!!"
Orf course this all took place in a very busy coffe shop on a Monday morning during reading days where college students live off of caffeine and camp out in the coffee shops in the sweats to study/cram/open a book for the first time all semester. But anyways, I was a little taken back by the baristas bold comment and I just sort of chuckled and walked away. I guess it would have been the end to this saga, had I not gone and sat at the table to read and then proceed to listen to the these 2 grown men banter back and forth about the "things that make you go poop!"
Were they for real? I mean, come on people. This is a food establishment, NOT a bathroom. I guess its funny that the idea behind the conversation seemed okay, I can't think back to a family holiday dinner that didn't somehow turn into bathroom tale horrors (hey, we may not be the Cleavers, but we are a far cry from the Osbournes!).
After having learned more about these two men than I ever cared to, I packed up and left. Not going to lie, I definitely thought twice before I walked in there this morning, but I figured that the chances were slim that a) the same people would be working and b) that they would remember the face that spurred the bran debate.
Well, two strikes for me!
I no sooner walked up to the counter, then the kid said, "Hey. how was that muffin? Were you able to "concentrate?"
Jeez kid, you so belong here at Penn...you win the awkward awkward, and let me tell you- that's a tall order because you are competiting with the best of best of Penn boys who are the archtyes of the sort.
I chuckled at his lame remark and ordered a coffee (yes, just a coffee, no bran today!) and paid as fast as I could. And that just about sums it up.
Life lesson: caffeine helps you concentrate, bran helps you poop.