Friday, April 04, 2008

"This Is My Confession"

So yeah, definitely stole that headline from Usher, but at least I'm giving him proper credit now.

I have to work tonight, so I tried to have a mellow day. I did laundry, cleaned, organized (compulsive, but I swear I'm working on it), read, ran 10 miles, etc. After all that was done, I found myself bored and reading many of the blogs that I follow. I came across one that was a good read and made me chuckle. Actually, most of her posts make my chuckle; nevertheless, I thought I'd also write about a few of my "secrets". And now.....drum roll please.....my confessions.

*Warning- reading these may seem like TMI. You have two choices: stop reading or read on and don't pass judgment, haha*

1. I wear sports bra's 98% of the time. I counted today, I have 18 of them. I have 4 real bras. Sometimes it's good to have the chest of a teenage boy.

2. I talked my way out of my first (and only) speeding ticket. I didn't cry. Actually, I sort of bribed the cop. When he saw that I was wearing my work uniform "Cridge Crew" and knew that I was coming home after a long night of scooping ice cream cones and that the lines are usually ridiculously long, I was happy to agree to giving him a free sundae and let him cut the line the next time he stopped by "The Ridge".

3. In second grade I stole a package of gum off my teachers desk. Whoops!

4. I am slightly obsessive compulsive about cleaning and organizing. I cannot go to sleep with a dirty kitchen, leave the house with a dirty bathroom, or enjoy doing nothing when my laundry isn't put away. I'm sure this will make me a very good hosuewifey one day, but in the meantime, it just comes off as psychotic.

5. I was pissed that I only graduated 4th in my high school class. That stupid B+ in Calculus I junior year.

6. In high school, my boyfriend's mom, dad, aunt, uncle, grandmother and grandfather walked in on us. Apparently they forgot their house keys after a family dinner outing and had to come in through the garage. We made a conscious effort never to "snuggle" in the basement TV room again.

7. There are some pictures of me wearing a whip cream bikini top from a summer pool party gone very wrong. Thankfully I have the negatives and they will NEVER surface again.

8. I hate chest hair. So with respect to my dating life, "Gorillas need not apply"

9. The summer before my senior year in college I was eh, hooking up with one of the surgical residents who worked on the floor where I was externing. We thought we were sly, funny, most of the staff knew. Note to self, don't mix work and play

10. I'm an awful liar.

11. I have peed my pants as an adult

12. I didn't poo the entire first week of college because I "poop stress" aka the thought of using a public toilet was agony

13. I have body image issues.

14. I would rather wax my eyebrows and get it over in one quick "RIP" than to put myself through agony of the individual "pluck"

15. My freshman year of college, I passed out with my head in a trash barrel in the top bunk of my boyfriends bed.

16. I have the drinking tolerance of a 10 year old. 2 beer queer, if I'm lucky. Hey, it makes me a cheap date!

17. My ankles swell to tree trunks by my 4th 12 hour shift, despite the fact that I wear compression stockings. Sexy, hunh?

18. I've forgotten to take off my surgical cap before leaving work. I looked pretty damn sexy walking down 1st avenue...so that's what the taxi's were honking at

19. I've been locked out my apartment twice.
#1- 8am on a Saturday morning in west Philadelphia. I was wearing a boys lacrosse shorts and white tank top with my crocs. I had to walk 5 blocks to the locksmith. Boy what that a sight!
#2- 6pm on a Friday on the UES of Manhattan. I was wearing a skirt and flip flops. I had to run 12 blocks to the locksmith who had the proper information to make me a new set of keys. Turns out, his methods were faulty, and he really couldn't let me back in. However, the brother gave it his best sho, became my BFF and asked me to his sisters wedding after I had known him all of 25 minutes. For the record, I politely declined.

20. There is nothing like picking a good wedgie.

21. In St. Maarten while out for my morning run, I thought I could clear the chain separating the beach from the street. Nope! Face plant. Still have the bruises on my arm, shin, and hip to prove it.

22. My closet can be separated into J. Crew, Banana Republic, Gap, and Target. Classy, right?

23. I've got other "dirty laundry" but I'm not okay putting it 'out there' on the web.~ thankyouverymuch~

2 comments:

O said...

Dude--you did a "Filch It Friday" and didn't even know it! Go check the "Well Read Hostess" blog (link on my page) for the meme if you ever want to do it again.

Anjali said...

Oh, I'm laughing so hard I forgot about my sleep deprivation!